Jesus, Jocks, and the Jukebox

My first memory of being a hockey fan came when I was six years old. It was my first year of playing hockey, and it only seemed appropriate that I should start watching the game that I was learning how to play. It was the Stanley Cup Finals, and the Detroit Red Wings were set to sweep against the physical juggernaut that was the Philadelphia Flyers. I don't remember a thing about the game, but what I do remember was seeing Steve Yzerman lift the Stanley Cup above his head, and from that moment being hooked on the National Hockey League.

As I got older and learned how to play the game myself, my passion for the NHL continued to grow, and what I've realized is that there has always been a direct correlation between my interest in the NHL, and my personal hockey career.

As a kid, you have the pipe dream of being an NHL player one day. With every bit of free time you try to learn everything there is to know about the NHL, because the only way you're going to get there is by studying the people who have already made it.

Of course, as the years went by it became clear to me that I wasn't going to make it to the big show, but there were still plenty of reasons to be obsessed with the NHL. Whether it was the dressing room conversations about last night's big game, the necessity of knowing everyone's name while watching Hockey Night in Canada or playing the latest EA Sports video game with your pals, or just having that inspiration every time you step on the ice for a big game, a love for the NHL was always very important to my well being growing up. But things have certainly changed.

I haven't played a real hockey game since February 23, 2011, and since then, something has happened to my love for the NHL. It's different.

Now, every time I see a sick dangle on Sportscentre, I can't go to practice the next day to try it out on my goalie. Now, when I watch my old hockey DVD's or watch highlights on YouTube, it's not to get psyched up for tonights game, it's to procrastinate from my homework. It's different. And now every time I turn on a game it brings back a feeling of sadness that life moves on, and the things you love in life will change whether you like it or not.

So I've been distancing myself - which has been relatively easy considering there hasn't been a whole lot of hockey to keep track of. But now the games back, and along with it, the nostalgia. Part of me wanted the lockout to cancel the entire season so I could freely enjoy watching as many basketball games as possible, without the allure of hockey tearing me apart. But that's not going to happen, and now every time I turn on a TV or open up a newspaper, I'm going to see the game that just feels so different to me now.

But today I'm making a choice to try and get back to my love of the NHL. My rationale for loving the game has changed as I have gotten older, and maybe now is just the time for it to change again. Don't get me wrong, I still love the game, and I still love the NHL, but it's time for me to find a different reason to love it again instead of loving it simply because I play hockey. I know there's a lot to love about it, but sometimes it's just hard to move past old memories, even though you know you'll make new ones down the road.

So, here's to the new season - may it bring back my fading passion, bring about new memories, and bring back a Stanley Cup to Toronto. Cheers.